Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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