So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
