STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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