please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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