"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
