Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
