East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
operation have a gay friend backfired
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
