i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
