i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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