Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize