I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
