so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
