Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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