that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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