and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
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I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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