Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Randomize
