why didn't you poke me back
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just googled if crying burns calories
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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