Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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