You really coming over, don't trick.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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