i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
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Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
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P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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