Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
