I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize
