i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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