no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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