32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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