I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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