i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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