It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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