was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
