: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
