That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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