so let's talk penis.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize