Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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