So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
my poor anus
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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