worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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