i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
