dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
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DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
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2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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