Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
