I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
