if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
