Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Randomize
