Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
