There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
