I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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