so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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