how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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