Are we in a gay sports bar?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
