nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
