so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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