Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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