I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
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I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
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Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15