I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!