so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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