My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
