Texts From Last Night

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  (456): View more from

  im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out

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  (456): im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out http://tfl.nu/zwp7
  Replies (27) Good night (4040) Bad night (1022)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.

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  (401): she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits. http://tfl.nu/xfwk
  Replies (33) Good night (1108) Bad night (6011)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys

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  (703): look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys http://tfl.nu/ae48
  Replies (22) Good night (6647) Bad night (1028)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake

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  (443): His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake http://tfl.nu/rol0
  Replies (46) Good night (7276) Bad night (1501)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity

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  (610): Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity http://tfl.nu/heka
  Replies (12) Good night (1211) Bad night (3721)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.

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  (570): I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days. http://tfl.nu/quks
  Replies (42) Good night (5632) Bad night (1427)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.

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  (315): I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill. http://tfl.nu/1t9o
  Replies (9) Good night (3259) Bad night (942)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.

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  (267): I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement. http://tfl.nu/314h
  Replies (10) Good night (1288) Bad night (2834)
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  (619): View more from California

  why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu

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  (619): why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu http://tfl.nu/w1ae
  Replies (6) Good night (1776) Bad night (1287)
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  (975): View more from Missouri

  At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.

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  (975): At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt. http://tfl.nu/pzgf
  Replies (5) Good night (2611) Bad night (659)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.

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  (+61): I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane. http://tfl.nu/dlou
  Replies (20) Good night (3742) Bad night (491)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.

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  (940): I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him. http://tfl.nu/9uqa
  Replies (15) Good night (2065) Bad night (762)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.

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  (954): I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control. http://tfl.nu/bct6
  Replies (1) Good night (419) Bad night (801)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance

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  (480): He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance http://tfl.nu/vksf
  Replies (7) Good night (984) Bad night (391)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...

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  (970): That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever... http://tfl.nu/748q
  Replies (4) Good night (451) Bad night (205)

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