she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Canadian or clown?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers