oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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