I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
