you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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