You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
