my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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