Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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