never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
