I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
